If you lost someone in the last few days — start here, and take what you need. Nothing on this page needs to be decided tonight.
The Family Funeral ManualLinda Hardin · Funeral Director, 31 Years
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Linda Hardin · Thirty-one years in funeral service

A funeral is the third-largest purchase most families make — and the only one made in one afternoon, while grieving.

I sat on the other side of that table for thirty-one years. This is everything I'd tell you if we were talking privately: what the line items mean, which ones are optional, what the law already guarantees you, and what to do with the paperwork afterward. Whether you're planning ahead or you lost someone this week.

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Linda Hardin, funeral director for 31 years
Linda Hardin · Funeral director & manager, two family-owned homes
Start where you are

Three different days, three different pages.

Most people reading this are planning quietly, years ahead. Some are reading at 2 a.m. because the phone rang. The manual is written for both — here's where each one should open it.

Tonight

Someone just died

Very little has to happen tonight. The manual's first-48-hours part covers who to call and in what order, what the funeral home will ask for, and what not to sign before you've seen a price list.

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This week

There's a meeting to get through

The arrangement meeting is where most of the money is decided. The manual walks the price list, the casket rules, the package versus itemized choice, and the sentences that answer an upsell kindly.

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Someday

You're planning ahead

The best gift you can leave is a decision nobody has to guess at. Pre-need plans, what "guaranteed" actually covers, and the one page to write and leave where your family can find it.

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What you're actually being handed

A funeral bill is a list of choices — most families are never told which ones.

Almost every line on a funeral bill is something you selected, or something a cemetery requires, or something that can be declined. One charge is genuinely non-declinable. The rest is a menu.

The manual walks the bill line by line, in the order it appears, and tells you which is which — so the questions get asked in the arrangement room, not in the car afterward.

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STATEMENT OF GOODS AND SERVICES
— WHAT THE LINES USUALLY MEAN —
Basic services of staffthe one you can't decline
Embalmingnot required by law in most cases
Viewing & visitationpriced per event
Casketmay be bought elsewhere
Outer burial containercemetery rule, not state law
Transfer & use of facilitiesvaries by what you hold
Cash advances (flowers, clergy, certificates)paid out on your behalf
Cemetery chargesa separate bill entirely
Illustrative, not a price quote. Costs vary widely by region, home and cemetery — the manual shows you how to get the real numbers for your own town before you sit down.
The part nobody reads aloud

You already have these rights. They're federal.

The FTC's Funeral Rule has protected American families since 1984. Most people have never heard of it, which is exactly why it's worth knowing before you walk in.

Prices over the phone

You may call any funeral home and ask what things cost. They must tell you — no appointment, no name required.

A price list to keep

When you discuss arrangements in person, you must be given a General Price List you can take with you.

Your own casket

You may buy a casket or urn anywhere, and the home may not charge you a handling fee for using it.

Item by item

You may buy only the goods and services you want — you don't have to take a package to get one part of it.

Embalming isn't automatic

It's rarely required by law. A home must disclose that, though a public viewing may have its own requirements.

An itemized statement

Before you pay, you're entitled to a written, itemized list of everything you selected and what each part costs.

Federal rules set the floor; some states add more. The manual explains each right in plain language, what to say if one isn't honored, and where to report it.

What's inside

Nine parts, in the order a family actually meets them.

340+ pages. Every entry opens with when it matters and what it protects, and closes with one line you can act on.

PART ONE

Planning Ahead

Pre-need plans, what "guaranteed price" really covers, portability, and the page to write now so nobody guesses later.

PART TWO

The First 48 Hours

Who to call and in what order, what the home will ask for, what you can say no to, and what not to sign.

PART THREE

The Arrangement Meeting

The price list, the phone-quote right, casket and urn rights, embalming and viewing rules, and how to answer an upsell kindly.

PART FOUR

Cremation, Burial & Alternatives

Direct cremation, green burial, body donation, veterans' options — what each includes and what gets added.

PART FIVE

Reading the Bill

The itemized audit: lines that shouldn't be there, what's federal, what's state, and what's the home's own discretion.

PART SIX

If Money Is Short

County and state help, veterans' benefits, Social Security's death payment, and crowdfunding done properly.

PART SEVEN

The Paperwork After

Death certificates, wills and probate basics, and notifying Social Security, banks, pensions, insurers and the rest.

PART EIGHT

What the Industry Knows

How homes are priced, what consolidation changed, what a director can and can't say, and how to spot who owns the sign.

PART NINE

The Scripts

Every "you are allowed to / you are not required to" line, sorted by the moment you need it.

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The First 48 Hours
Free · one printable page
  • Who to call first — and who can wait until morning
  • What the funeral home will ask you to bring
  • What not to sign before you've seen a price list
  • The three decisions that are actually urgent
  • What to write down while you remember it
Free with the manual

One page to put on the refrigerator.

When the phone rings at 2 a.m., nobody reads 340 pages. They need one sheet: who to call, in what order, and what not to sign. That's the checklist — print it, put it where your family will find it, and hope it stays there for years.

It comes free with the manual. If you only ever use the checklist, it will still have done its job.

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The Family Funeral Manual

  • 340+ pages, nine parts — before, during and after, in the order it happens
  • The scripts section — the exact words, sorted by the moment you need them
  • The rights explained plainly — what's federal, what's your state, what's the home's choice
  • The paperwork chapters — certificates, probate basics, and everyone who must be notified
  • Free: The First 48 Hours Checklist — one printable page for the refrigerator
  • Instant PDF — read on any phone, tablet or computer, or print it at home
$39.99once
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Secure checkout · Nothing renews · Written by a funeral director of thirty-one years
Linda Hardin
Who's telling you this

Thirty-one years, and two family-owned homes.

I'm Linda Hardin. I spent thirty-one years in Midwest funeral service — first as a director, then managing two family-owned homes until a corporate group bought them. I left the business after the sale.

This isn't a book against funeral directors. Most of the people I worked beside are kind, exhausted professionals who show up at three in the morning for strangers. What changed isn't the people — it's what consolidation and unreadable pricing did to the arrangement room. Families walk in on the worst day of their lives and are handed a menu they've never seen before, and there's an imbalance in that which I could never quite make peace with.

So I wrote down what I used to explain quietly, across the table, to the families who asked good questions — and what the rest never knew to ask. You are allowed to take your time. You are allowed to ask what something costs. You are allowed to say no, and still be honoring someone properly.

Honest answers

Questions people ask

Is this legal advice?
No. It's an explanation of how funerals are priced and arranged, and of consumer rights that already exist. Probate, estate and cemetery rules vary by state, and the manual says so wherever it matters — for your specific situation, a probate attorney or your county court is the right place.
Are you attacking funeral directors?
No, and I'd ask you not to read it that way. I was one for thirty-one years. Most directors do difficult work with real care. The problem I'm writing about is pricing that families can't read, and a meeting that happens on the worst day of their lives. Knowing what the lines mean makes that meeting better for everyone in the room, including the director.
The funeral already happened. Is it too late for this to help?
No. Part Five covers auditing a bill you've already been given, and Part Seven — death certificates, probate basics, notifying Social Security, banks, pensions and insurers — is mostly ahead of you. Many readers find that part the most useful of all.
Does it apply in my state?
The Funeral Rule is federal and applies nationwide. Cemetery requirements, probate procedures and assistance programs vary, so the manual marks which is which and shows you how to check your own state in a few minutes.
Is this a printed book?
It's a PDF, sent to your email the moment you order. Read it on a phone, tablet or computer, or print it — many readers print just the checklist and the scripts section and keep them in a folder with their documents.
I'm planning ahead and nothing is urgent. Is it still worth it?
That's who most of it was written for. Doing this calmly, years ahead, is the difference between a family guessing at midnight and a family following a page you left them.

Nobody should have to learn this on the worst day of their life.

Thirty-one years of answers, written down: the costs, the rights, the paperwork, and the words to use. $39.99, once.

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The Family Funeral Manual · $39.99
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